Communication is key to a successful marriage full of trust, happiness, and fulfillment.
Today I wanted to share some advice on communication in a marriage as well as my story and reasoning behind why I tell my husband everything. Now I’m not the perfect wife nor is my marriage perfect. But Briam and I have avoided many fights and potential disasters because we are extremely open about everything. Before we got married, we dated for almost 7 years and were engaged for 2 more meaning we had 9 years to work out all the kinks before we dove into holy matrimony.
A Marriage Needs A Solid Foundation
From the beginning of our relationship I was very honest with Briam about everything. We started dating January 7, 2008 and 8 months later I left for college. We had to open with each other in order to make a long distance relationship last. And it worked. It was definitely hard at times when we would have to go 3+ months without seeing each other, but we made it a point to talk every single day.
If either of us went to the bar or to the club, we told each other. We would send goofy, tipsy pictures of us with our friends having a good time and then would recall the whole night to each other the next morning. He was my best friend then and he’s my best friend now. We spent years sharing our likes and dislikes, our hopes and dreams, and how we just wanted to be together forever. We built a solid foundation that would get us through the trying years ahead.
A Marriage Needs Support From Within
When I decided to transfer schools to live with Briam, it was a hard transition for a lot of people. We were faced with droves of negative speeches, hateful arguments, and more. But we knew we wanted to be together and we were going to do what we felt was best for us. We spent the next few years dealing with wave after wave of drama and burden that would send many people running for the hills.
But I supported him and did everything I could to help him through his personal trials. At 20 years old I shouldn’t have had to go through what I did. Nothing abusive, AT ALL! His personal trials were things put on him by various situations that he couldn’t control. And I was there to help him every step of the way and support him in any way I could. He supported my educational decisions and stood by me through my personal trials as well. We built the support structure that would ultimately solidify our relationship.
I Tell My Husband Everything
I even ask his permission to go places and do things. Do I need to? Absolutely not! Do I feel that it shows him respect and offers him a chance to give me his opinion? Yes! At no point has Briam EVER told me I couldn’t do something because he didn’t want me to. Maybe for financial reasons, but that would be it. I tell him random things about my bowl movements, I tell him about what our dream house will look like, I tell him what I think he should do in various work situations. I tell him everything that’s on my mind.
We’ve had super in-depth conversations about things most people don’t want to talk about like death, comas, if one of us gets cancer or Alzheimer’s, and more. We’ve made decisions on how to go about end-of-life treatments, when to pull the plug, and what decision would need to be made if I were dying during childbirth and couldn’t respond and it was either me or the baby who could live. Briam knows EXACTLY how to respond to all of the decisions. And it’s not a one-way street, I know the same information regarding how to make decisions for him as well.
Communication Is Key
To wrap up this post I want to tell you that you can still be a strong, independent person and have an open system of communication with your spouse. Just because I tell my husband everything doesn’t mean I’m dependent on him or feel weak without him. I feel lesser when he’s not with me only because he’s my absolute best friend, soulmate, life partner, and missing piece of my heart. I can communicate easily with him because of all of those things. There’s no awkwardness when hard conversations have to be had. But we spent YEARS cultivating a solid foundation and strong support system that allows us to be free within our marriage.
There’s nothing wrong with talking to your spouse, partner, or fiancé about everything. There’s a chance the everything is the world you can imagine could happen. So why not talk about everything and have plans set so no one has to make unknown decisions for you?
What are your thoughts on communication in a marriage?
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