Happy Halloween friends! A few things before we get started, 1) I can’t believe that October is over! Why do the months seem to fly by faster and faster? 2) No feelings will be hurt if you laugh at some of my Halloween tutorials. 3) Can you believe that I tried to be a beauty guru back in the day? What a joke.
Now that we’ve covered those things, let’s jump right into the hot mess of what I used to think were great quality, beauty guru-esque Halloween tutorials!
Okay, first off, none of these are in order of date actually created, so you can’t tell (you probably can) when the improvement (jokes, no improvement at all) happened. Starting us off here we have Glitter the Clown. I literally feel like I just slapped some glitter on my face and called it a “Halloween tutorial”. I have zero skills. But I sure as heck thought I did. Let’s all take a moment to laugh about the fact that I thought it was okay to put THAT much glitter on my eyes… RIP eye sight.
Now listen, this was when I was first starting out and wanted, so badly, to be apart of the beauty guru community. I actually kind of like this “cheetah princess” look. For someone with the makeup abilities of a goldfish, I think I did pretty good on this. So for a non-beauty guru Halloween tutorial, this is one of my favorites. And I think I look cute AF too, and much thinner than I am now. Oh the glory days.
Maybe I’m biased here because I freaking love my husband and think anything he’s apart of is amazing, but this turned out okay. Again, for someone with no skills, I think I did alright. It’s hilarious that you can see the sticky stuff used to hold the cheap fangs in place. And the fact that there’s white cream paint all over his collar. Oh the money I could’ve saved if I didn’t try to go so hard during Halloween.
Alright, here’s another one that I really like. I even used this for a Halloween party that year. It was so funny because I messed up so bad at one point and did my best to edit it out. Can you see where the giant f-up happens? Either way, it was still super fun to shove my head into a pair of stockings and then try to peel them off without ruining everything. And don’t we love how I’m pushing my neck fat back in the cover frame? Excellent, Christina… excellent.
I try to be as polite as possible on this blog, not swearing at all despite being a filthy sailor mouth behind the computer screen. But what the actually f%$k was I thinking??? How in the great big world did I think this was acceptable to upload? The internet has seen my basic lack of intelligence to know when not to put something up for everyone to gawk at. Great job, Christina. I look like I gave up on everything at this point. Goodbye dignity.
So, unpopular opinion in my house, but this cover frame is one of the exact pieces of evidence I have that prove I need lip fillers. My bottom lip is crooked, my top lip is also crooked, and my top lip is much smaller compared to my bottom lip. I will get lip fillers one day. Briam literally hates the idea of me getting injections, but you know, my mouth my choice. (Cue the extreme LOLs here now!) Okay, back to the actual Halloween tutorial. I quite like my Cleopatra look! The makeup was pretty simple, the stickers came from the Halloween store, and everything was easy to do. I still have the snake headband somewhere in a box deep in the closet.
This one is right up there with the Harley Quinn tutorial. I look like a terrible rendition of the match maker from Mulan. Why oh why did I put this up for the internet to see? Well, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no right to laugh at anyone else. Humility is a good personality trait to have. And if I can survive the embarrassment of having this on the internet, I can survive anything. I don’t think I even tried to look decent.
This one is kinda cute. Like I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. Maybe if you were encouraged to dress up for Halloween at work or wanted something simple that didn’t really require a costume or more than some eyeliner, than this would be perfect. Maybe add a little fake spider or something to really jazz it up.
This one isn’t terrible, but it’s pretty close. I don’t hate it, but I definitely don’t like it. Look at me, I couldn’t even be bothered to put on a better shirt… I was a mess in 2014, obviously. (Still a mess now, don’t let past me fool you). But, again, for someone who just learned how to blend eyeshadow properly (I think I did…) this isn’t the worst.
I hope you all enjoyed this hilarious walk down Halloween tutorial lane! I hope you all have amazing Halloween, stay safe, eat a bunch of candy, and stay spooky! See you tomorrow!
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